


Oh dear Lord

by the_ravens_writting_desk



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Blasphemy, Crack, I'm not kiding you'll be stricken by lightning, I'm now so deep in hell I shook Adam's hand on my way down, Implied Sexual Content, Innuendo, M/M, Prince Adam Milligan, Secret Relationship, priest samandriel, so much blasphemy, you're going to hell for reading this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2014-07-06
Packaged: 2018-02-07 17:40:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1907928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_ravens_writting_desk/pseuds/the_ravens_writting_desk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prince Adam visits the local monastery, but his intentions are far from pure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh dear Lord

**Author's Note:**

> Join the direct express to hell!

“Back again, you highness?” Adam turned to the side of the Monastery of the Lord. Priestess Anna smiled as she tended to the garden. “I must say, I haven’t seen such religious vigour in the royal family since brother Castiel denounced his vows and became prince-consort…”

“I uh…” Adam felt himself get red. “I’m just interested in…” His brain was working in overdrive, but nothing came out.

“Are you interested in joining our order?” She asked teasingly. “I’m sure Samandriel would be _delighted_ to hear that… You two seem to get along quite well…” She stood up, whipped her dirty hands off on her habit and bid the prince good day, leaving through a side entrance reserved for the priests and priestesses. Not that Adam had never used it for nightly visits.

“Prince Adam…” Father Michael opened the gates and embraced the prince. Adam suppressed a shiver as the man touched him, he always reminded him of his father, the late king John, and that was not a good thing. “How wonderful to see again. I assume you won’t have need for an escort? You know these halls better than some of my clergymen.

“I’ll be fine thank you, revered father.” Adam faked a smile and made his way through the white marble hallways to the Winchester’s personal chapel. The chapel was a large room, empty except for two pews and a large statue of his holy Chuckiness.

Adam took the tinderbox from his belt and lit the three candles adorning the pedestal. He kneeled and folded his hands in prayer. “Our Father, who might be in Heaven, Chuck be thou name, Your priest come, his ass will be done, on earth, as in his bed…”

“You’ll go to Hell for that.” Leaning next to the door was Samandriel. He wore the typical long white gown, black wings embroiled on the backside. “Maybe you should do some _penance_.”

“That’s probably the least sexy way someone could suggest spanking.” Adam patted the floor next him. “How are you?”

“I had to explain to brother Zachariah why some of the others heard moans coming from my room… That was unpleasant…”

Adam hummed at the memory of two nights ago. “Did he ask about your prayer beads?” Samandriel flushed and nodded.

“I told him I dropped them in the well, and that moans were me flogging myself.”

“Is that what the kids call it these days?” He pressed a kiss to the priest’s flushed cheek. “How long can stay?”

“Not long, I and sister Muriel have to take care of the orphans…”

“You know…” Adam gave him a wicked grin. “I’m an orphan, you can take care of me as much as you want, over and over again.”

“I’ll go get Muriel.” Samandriel teased. “She knows to take care of _naughty_ boys.”

“You’re pretty good at that too.”

“What other talents does my little brother possess?” Samandriel and Adam shot up and turned around. The door was opened and in the doorway stood a short priest Adam had never seen before.

“Revered father….” Samandriel gasped. _Revered father_? Adam’s heart stopped, at worst he could be banned from entering the monastery and a public shunning, but Samandriel could be sent to the Order of the revered mother Raphael. Which meant completely estranging from the outside world and impossibly strict rules. The priest told horror stories of how the people there were mindless zombies who lived in fear of Raphael and her right hand Naomi.

“You were supposed to escort me here from the docks, Alfie…” The stranger tsked. He knew Samandriel’s birth name and instead of calling him Alfred, he said Alfie. Did he know Samandriel? “But don’t worry, I didn’t tell big bro… You know, when Anna said I could find you here _servicing_ the prince, this was not what I had in mind.” His gaze turned to Adam and he whistled, as in wolf whistled. “You better tap that ass as long as it’s still tight and firm, because when those globes start to sag…”

“Gabriel!” Samandriel gasped. “Someone might hear you!”

“Uhm…” Adam looked awkward from Samandriel to the man, who apparently was the infamous revered father Gabriel. “Do you two know each other?”

“Yeah, Alfie, introduce me… This should be good…”

“Adam, this is revered father Gabriel… My brother.” He added with a pained expression. “I was told you’d be arriving tomorrow, today I’m…”

“Taking care of naughty orphans?” Gabriel finished.

“How much did you hear?”

“Well…” The revered father reached in the pouch around his belt and handed Samandriel his prayer beads. “That you’re a kinky bastard. But at least it didn’t take you as long as Cas, I almost expected Raphael to get her cherry popped before him.”

“Eeeeew!” Samandriel protested.

“I agree, but a dick in her ass might break that stick.”

“So, I take you’re not going to report us?” Adam asked.

Gabriel grasped his chest in mock insolence. “My baby brother… The one I raised from infancy?” He grabbed Samandriel’s head and pressed it against his chest. “The toddler who ran naked after milkmaids, the child I convinced he could fly and pushed off a hayloft, the teenager who dyed his hair red and wrote crappy poetry about his feelings, claiming that it wasn’t a faze, the same teenager I caught trying to…” With a shout Samandriel jumped his brother and pulled the hood of his habit over his head.

“I once _made_ you swear to never speak of that again and my knowledge of anatomy has only improved since then.”

“Fine, fine.” Gabriel held up his hands in surrender. “I’m going to discuss boring things with Michael.” He crawled back up and cleaned the dust from his clothes. “That should keep him happy for a while… And before I forget it.” Gabriel popped his head through the door. “ _Moist, flaky, clammy, cheesecloth, diaper…_ ”

“What is he doing?”

“He’s saying unsexy words to kill the already dead mood.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to comment and check out my [tumblr](http://theravenswrittingdesk.tumblr.com/)


End file.
